Don't Leave Me With Nothing
by BunniExpressive
Summary: Dawn gets turned and when everyone questions Buffy's decision to keep her around, she puts all her trust in Spike, to shape Dawn into a upstanding vampire. But the vampire discovers he isn't doing it all for Buffy, something in Dawn calls to him. S/D
1. Chapter 1

Don't Leave Me With Nothing:

Spike/Dawn

Tiny back story: Just so this story doesn't waste your time, if you aren't interested, heads up. Dawn gets turned into a vampire at age 17. Same plot as in Season 6's Halloween episode where Justin wants to sire her. Except…she's 17 and it's a tiny bit later in the overall Buffyverse plot. Buffy and Spike are already sleeping together. That's all I'm saying! Read on if I have piqued your interest! :P

* * *

Chapter 1

How It All Happened:

Justin bore down on her with all his weight. He felt her hot blood pouring down his cold throat; he couldn't help but smile through it all. She was a beauty, and that she would remain, they would rule Sunnydale. He felt her body slipping from the present, her small hands had fallen to the earth, he pulled back afraid to take more, and he had seen this done, was sure he did it right. Never was good in school, but he had to study this…had to get it right. He just hoped his learning skills were better as a vampire. He looked down at her, mouth slack, pupils big and black. He wanted to swim in them. He smiled at her affectionately, and moved the hair back from her face. "Soon." He whispered as he noticed her eyes slowly following his. He bit into his wrist and sat up straddling her torso. He put his wrist over hers letting the blood slip into her mouth. She mewed. What exactly, Justin couldn't be sure. Regardless, it was too late to stop, so he continued. He chuckled, which came out as hissing because he hadn't perfected sound making or talking with jagged fangy teeth in his mouth. Dawn weakly lifted her head off the ground and closed her lips over the wound he made. She drank from him hungrily, feeling the power of his blood. She had to survive, it was the only way. She fell back against the Autumn foliage, her last breath slipping from her blood stained lips. "That's it." Justin sighed and mentally congratulated himself.

A crunch broke the silence of the woods hollow followed by a sucking wet sound. Justin arched his back and turned to see what had stabbed him, and he saw her before he dissolved into ash. The Slayer. Buffy's face was neutral as she killed the vampire, full on ready to scream at Dawn. As the ash blew away in the wind, she got to see just how late she was to save the day. She felt all her food from the week spill up into her mouth. "DAWN!"

Spike came charging out of the trees, miniature crossbow swinging in one hand. "Where's the punk!?"

Buffy collapsed next to Dawn, and grabbed her face. She pulled her sister up, tears falling from her face onto Dawn's dead lips. "Dawnie, please don't do this. Please."

Spike was confused. He looked around and only saw Buffy with Dawn and when he focused he noticed the familiar stillness of Dawn's legs, and the rushing heart beat of only one person. "Lil' Bit?" He choked out as he stumbled forward.

Buffy's head snapped up and she turned to Spike with the biggest green eyes he had ever seen. She had the look, Spike had only dreamt of. She wanted something from him; her eyes spoke the truth that only he could give her that satisfaction. He just wished it wasn't for something he had bad news on. He knew what she was going to ask.

She shook slowly and softly at first, petting her hair, hugging close. "Is she….can she be….what…?"

"Buffy…….I don't…"

"Is she….will she…." Buffy mumbled, staring loving into her sister's slack face.

Giles was breathing heavy as he trampled the last bit of bushes to get to the small clearing he had seen Spike run through too. He was pulling his glasses off, sucking in deep breaths. "Spike? Buffy? Did you find…Dawn…" He saw the purple lined tennis shoes. The edges of a letterman jacket bulging out between Buffy's arms. The overwhelming cloud of grief coming off her like a hurricane.

"Buffy.. I…"

Buffy's eyes turned from desperate need to anger Spike was sure light him on fire. He wished this was hell. If it was Willow or one of them would get them out of it and the nibblet would be okay. "Don't fucking stutter, is she dead!? Is she going to turn!?"

Spike's voice broke. "She's dead Buffy. I don't know if she'll….turn. Depends if the boy did it right. We'll have to wait and see."

Buffy's shaking became all to visible, it looked like she was having a seizure. Her body was tight, her eyes wild and red. Her grip tightened onto her sister. "We'll wait I guess."

Giles stepped forward, the crunching of the leaves startling Buffy. Her head was filled with silence, mourning. She was too late. She had been consumed with her selfish thoughts and her sister had paid the price. "Buffy we can't let her…"

Spike turned on Giles. His face contorting. "Bloody hell we can!"

Buffy cried, wailed into her sister's shoulder. "One life for another."

Spike touched her shoulder, trying to sooth her. "Buffy we can….wait."

Buffy's head lifted. "No….no…she'll be in heaven…if she comes back…she'll…..hell. I can't. I just can't Spike. I can't make my sister suffer." She reached around for the stake she had killed the boy with. As her grip tightened and she started lifting her arm, Spike screamed and torn it from her hand.

"Listen to me slayer. I can save her. I can protect her, teach her. You can't do this. It's not right, like this. Give her a choice. If it comes to it Willow can soul her up. Before she even does any damage, no pouting or whining about sins, eh?"

Buffy's head slowly turned to look up at Giles, who wasn't saying anything. He wanted his slayer t function alone, strong. This was something he felt he had no say in the matter. His later life has been dedicated to destroying these forces, but Dawn was family….but she was Buffy's BLOOD family. It was her choice. He turned away, unable to withstand the look of sheer pain in Buffy's eyes.

Spike just kept saying rushed sentences trying to convince Buffy that he would do right by the Bit, just don't kill her. Don't send her off into the world like that. They'd find a way. Buffy merely stood up and brought Dawn up with her. She cradled her as best she could, even though was already taller than her, dead she seemed a lot smaller. Buffy's face remained neutral as she started towards the wall of trees and bushes.

"Bushes." Buffy mumbled.

Spike darted forward and grabbed hold of a bunch of bushes and shoved them to the side letting Buffy walk through, Spike kept doing that, making sure Buffy had a challenged path through the forest while Giles trailed behind, and grim expressions were shared by all.

* * *

Buffy stopped at the end of the sidewalk up to the house. She looked to the right where Spike held her baby sister, curled up; she looked like she was sleeping except for the dried smear of blood on her mouth. Giles stood at her left. Buffy sniffled as she saw the shadows of her friends hurrying about , doing whatever it is, still celebrating or making calls trying to find where Dawn was. Buffy walked forward, leading the sad parade. She opened the door and was instantly greeted by Willow. "Oh my god Buffy, we were so worried, I can't get a hold of anyone. That Janice girl's mom isn't home, her son answered. He said they went out to the forest…." Willow's voice trailed off as she dropped the phone, spotting Dawn in Spike's arms, her left arm dangling over his. She knew dead when she saw it.

Tara came walking through the dining room and didn't even get to saw anything before she saw all the faces and new something had happened.

Anya came skating over, a bright smile on her face which died off quickly as Spike walked through the crowd of people. "Lil' Bit needs to lie down now, scoobies." He whispered softly, some reason it felt wrong to say anything at a normal level of voice.

Xander was sitting in the living room, he had heard the phone drop, heard the deafening silence. He saw Dawn and started to cry, standing up. "What happened?" Everyone flinched as he talked so loud.

"Vampire." Spike mumbled as he laid her down on the couch, resting her head and arms as if she was sleeping. He brushed her hair back, making she would be comfortable when she woke up, if she woke up. Part of him desperately wanted his Nibblet back, but he knew that was the selfish part of him, the monster. The other half wanted to make sure she never had to dirty herself with his lifestyle. He would do right by her if it came to that. No stakes, no souls, he could teach her. One of a kind, his dark Dawn would be. A sad smile he kept hidden from the scoobies decorated his face as he brushed the dirt from her hair. He was calling her his. But wasn't she? All summer it was them, she shared her deepest feelings with him and he shared his darkest with her. She was to be a vampire, they needed a guide, she would have the best available him. He cried, another sad smile came across his features. Only the Summers women did this to him. Turned him back into the nancy type human he was.

Everyone had made it into the living room, not a dry eye on anyone. They all sat around the couch, just watching her.

"So….we're gonna let her become..?" Xander shot a glance at Spike, trying not to offend or waiting for the backlash which never came, before looking to Buffy. "Buffy?"

Buffy' frown got bigger. "I think so. Spike says he can… help her."

"I'll do right by her." He said through one of his fists which propped his head up as he lounged on the floor next to Buffy's chair.

Everyone sighed, some in frustration others in grief or relief…no one was a good judge of anything at the moment, but it didn't matter.

"If it doesn't work, we'll keep her safe as best we can, Willow can…restore her soul, right?" Buffy shot desperate eyes at Willow.

Tara was so torn, she loved Dawn, and they grew so close over the summer. She had her issues with Willow and magic but Dawn's safety was important. If Buffy decided to let this happen, Willow would have to do the spell and Tara had resolved to help her.

Anya coughed lightly drawing some eye attention but most everyone was just treating it as white noise. "If I may, am I the only one who is finding this very odd? I mean, I am not complaining or….saying let's do it…but this is very double standard-ish.…"

Spike sighed. "Not complaining here either. It's Dawn, Anya…..who the hell cares about equality and don't drag me into it. I'm happy with my place." He placed his hand, hidden away behind his duster all crumpled up behind him, overtop of Buffy's shoe and giving it a light squeeze. It enlisted no response. But he wasn't asking for one.

"No more talk. We wait. I understand if you guys want to leave, you don't have to be here for this."

"Thank god I would like to leave." Anya said excitedly. "I love Dawn very much, but this is quite ...Uncomfortable for me Buffy. I support you and your choices. We will stop by later with cookies and comforting items of grief." Anya offered her best cheer up smile.

Xander coughed. "Yeah Buff, no offence…but its Dawnie…I don't want to see this." He gave Spike a dirty look before taking Anya's hand and leading her out the door without waiting for a response. Buffy wasn't interested; her eyes were all on her sister, awaiting her return.

Willow stood and Tara followed. "Buffy?" She whispered. "I'm gonna go upstairs and try to find the book I used for Angel. Tara will go to the store and get an orb, if we have one around, okay? We'll do this together." She smiled weakly but she couldn't keep it on her face.

"Yeah." Buffy said airily, staring intently at the marks on her sister's neck.

When everyone but the watcher had left Spike took a seat next to Buffy and looked up at the watcher. "We need blood."

"Well I bloody well am not…"

"I have to be here if she…." He glanced at her body, trying not to break down in anguish again. "And we can't get Buffy to go…." He gave the slayer's shoulder a tight squeeze, one Buffy unconsciously leaned into.

Giles narrowed his eyes and gave along sigh. "I suppose then, it is up to me."

"Get animal, make it easier on her."

"Was planning on it…." He mumbled as he walked out of the house leaving the notorious vampire, the notorious teenager slash key, and the notorious slayer all in silence.


	2. Here I Reside

Don't Leave Me with Nothing

Chapter 2: Here I Reside

* * *

Spike took turns looking between the slayer and Dawn's corpse. He could feel the tickling at the back of his neck of powers working. He knew then she had been turned. He tried to glance innocently at Buffy whose eyes were so fixated on Dawn; she wouldn't have noticed him trying to read her anyways. He knew she must feel it, the sensation of a vampire in the room…besides himself. They hadn't spoken since everyone left. As Spike sighed heavily Buffy rested her hand over his. Spike turned again to look at her but she was still not looking at him.

"Thank you." She whispered.

"For?"

"Staying. Even in the…." She motioned to the closed curtains which held back the sunlight burning him alive.

"I need to be here, for both of you. For myself." He lowered his head and closed his eyes before looking at Dawn again, still motionless.

Buffy gave his hand a light squeeze before settling back into the chair. She wasn't surprised Willow and Tara didn't come back down; she could feel them, their unease. Which was fine, everyone else made their point, Giles didn't bother coming back either. Again fine. She could do this alone…no with Spike.

Dawn's eyes drifted open, her eyes burned something wicked. It reminded her of the time Spike had left a couple beer bottles in the fridge and she drank them, not being much of a drinker to start they really got to her, and the next morning was very unpleasant. She felt funny, not beer funny, or too much sugar before bed funny, something was off.

Spike tensed, feeling her, the burst of life…or the bare impression of life that vampires have on this world. His hand twitched drawing Buffy's attention, she sat up eyes wide and watery, like she was watching puppies get killed. Terrified, this was a rare emotion she let show, regardless if it was her primary one lately.

First Dawn's hand twitched, her body felt like fluid. She then rolled her shoulders and sat up in one motion.

A small sound escaped Buffy's lips as she watched her sister rise from the dead. "Dawnie?" There was that small voice again.

Dawn jumped slightly. "Oh Buffy….what happened? Why am I asleep on the couch?" She looked at Spike who had a grim expression on his face, his very detailed…face that seemed to glow. As she took notice, she saw the same thing to Buffy's face. "And why is Spike staring at me too? Pervs…" She laughed nervously.

Buffy covered her mouth and looked her sister over. Her neck was healed; she looked just the same besides all the dried blood smeared across her face. She frowned, thinking how she could be so stupid; she should have cleaned her up.

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Buffy, stop being weird."

Buffy launched forward and Spike flinched, but relaxed when he saw the slayer envelope Dawn in a bear tight hug, a very petite bear but the point was not missed. Dawn oafed and laughed, her eyes bulging as she looked past Buffy to Spike.

Spike stood and slid in beside Dawn, running his hand down her hair gently. He could feel the coldness of her, it was unsettling.

Buffy crouched down in front of Dawn, looking in her eyes, trying to find that spark, she couldn't tell a difference but she knew it was there. When Dawn realized what had happened, and what will be from now on, the change will happen. "Sweetie, we need to talk okay." She tried to imitate her mother's voice when something tragic had happened. Buffy was choking on emotion she was sure she just sounded crazy, it was the best she could do.

Spike let his hands fall as he listened to Buffy. He stood and walked behind the chairs, leaning slightly against the small desk, he watched them.

Dawn narrowed her eyes. "Okay you two are freaking me out, what's wrong? Did something happen to someone!? Oh god…what…"

"No nibblet, everyone is fine." Spike muttered.

"Then I don't understand why…."

Buffy clasped Dawn's hands and looked up into her sister's face. Trying to chant Spike's words, she can be saved. "That boy Justin, he….bit you and you drank from him. I don't know if it was on purpose or, he forced you…but it worked. You…."

Dawn's eyes widened, "I remember….he was…a vampire and then I, I felt like I was falling and he had caught me, but I kept slipping and I had to…"

"You had to grasp at him harder and harder. Everything in your body was screaming for him and all that he gave you wasn't enough and then you slipped from him completely, but by the end of it you felt so tired and it was welcomed…the landing from that fall." Spike calmly and quietly said, looking at the floor. He had crossed his boots and became intensely interested in the laces.

Buffy stared at Dawn's hands, while Dawn gapped at Spike.

Spike's eyes fluttered up to meet Dawn's. "Save your voice pet, no need to tell me, I've been through it myself. It's like that for everyone….."

Dawn remained quiet and tried to look within herself. "I feel funny, but I don't….I mean…..I don't remember, exactly."

Buffy swallowed. "It's okay Dawnie, that's not important. You're okay now. We'll take care of you, okay?"

Dawn stood up, making Buffy fall back on her hands. The more she thought this, tried to remember, the more crazed she felt. She felt like someone was pulling a bad joke on her. She tried to get in touch with her body.

"It's really happening. Try holding your breath, pet; see how long you can do that for."

Dawn gave him a silly look then took in a deep breath, and then she held it. Buffy stood up, but didn't move anywhere. Dawn tapped her foot looking at the clock. 1 minute…..1 minute 30 seconds….2 minutes. She didn't feel the wrenching of her lungs, the screaming of her head going BREATH! She let it go and watched Spike, then dashed for the front door.

"No!" Buffy yelled and ran after her. Dawn got the door open and a slice of sunlight fell across her arm, an instant sting. Buffy slammed the door and pushed Dawn out of the way causing her to topple onto the stairs.

Dawn hollered and gripped her arm tight as she landed roughly at an odd angle.

"What's going on!?" Willow and Tara stumbled down the first landing, to see the scene below. "Dawn?" Their eyes watery and loving, but worry and fear. Dawn could smell the fear; hear the race of their hearts. Her head snapped around and she could feel and hear the same from Buffy. She narrowed her eyes as she looked at Spike who causally placed himself on the doorframe to the living room, with his arms crossed he just watched. He gave her a slight nod.

"I'm a vampire!" She took a moment in her head to work it out. Okay dead and cold, forever looking young. But she WAS young forever, she was strong…..she could do…things. Her eyes flickered to Buffy. All she heard about vampires were that they had an innate urge to kill the slayer and here she was the sister of one, and she certainly wanted to bash her head in but, it felt like it did out of sister irritation not evilness. "I don't have a soul? I don't have a soul."

Buffy stumbled over her words. "Spike is going to teach you, make sure you are alright that you don't…..become, bad."

"Then you'd have to…stake me." Her eyes returned to normal and she sighed. "I'm not sure how I feel right now." She brushed her hair back from her face as she collected herself, thoughts racing in and out of her brain.

"Was it on purpose?" Tara mumbled looking over Willow's shoulder, both of them nicely tucked at the top of the stairs.

Dawn didn't turn; it felt like Tara had said that in her ear. "I don't know, I can't seem to remember a lot."

Buffy sighed. "Well it'll come back, I'm…sure it'll come back." She begged more than stated. Truth was she wasn't sure she wanted to know. She hoped her sister had been forced into it, but honestly Buffy wasn't sure. There was so much she didn't know about the girl, and now…there would be even more she couldn't understand. But Spike would. She hated him now for reasons involving his sister. She was jealous of their friendship, how easily Dawn accepted everything, about EVERYTHING not just Spike. She thought at first it was because of her age and innocence, but these past weeks, she began thinking it was just her nature. She was so much darker than Buffy ever would be, and now…she genuinely was the dark. Oh the irony.

"I'm hungry." Dawn's chip voice broke the awkward silence.

"Well, Giles was supposed to get…."

"Bloody hell, come on bit." Spike motioned to Dawn for her to come to him, he wanted to save her from this stupid situation with Buffy and the witches. "I'll let you feed from me, 'til we can get you some proper nourishment, yeh."

When Dawn took a step to him, Buffy hollered and pulled Dawn back by her shoulder. "Spike!"

He rolled his eyes at Buffy's freak out and the concerned pounding of steps as the girls came completely down the stairs. "She can't!"

"Yes she can……for god sakes Buffy, she has three living, breathing, tasty morsels right here, pounding away in her new born ears. Now you want her on a steady diet of animal blood? I happen to be full of it. You need to get Giles or one of you needs to go get some, because I can't give her enough and righ' now she needs a lot."

Dawn's eyes widened. "I have to bite you?"

Spike gave her a dark look. "Figured course I could pour some of myself out into your Hello Kitty mug if you prefer?"

Dawn frowned and she growled. "I'm not a child."

Buffy flinched.

"Right at that nibblet. Now let's do this."

Dawn walked past Buffy, ignoring her pleas. When she got to Spike he shoved her down the small hallway between the wall and stairs, "I don't fancy doing this in front of everyone. We'll go to the basement."

Willow grabbed Tara's hand and dragged her through the doorway to the dining room, out of site Spike figured they were going to the kitchen or maybe talk to Dawn.

Buffy started to follow Spike and when he stopped walking she bumped into him, her hand brushing firmly against his backside. "Now now love, none of that. I have work to do, but if you are good I'll let you play with the vampire tonight."

Buffy blushed and dropped her head, before trying to walk past him in a bad mood.

"No, Buffy. Don't make her do this in front of you. None the less, I don't think you want to see this."

"I do. I have to."

"Why?"

"Because it's Dawn and it's my…"

"Bloody hell woman, if I hear you say it's my fault for one more god damn thing that happens I will stake my eardrums out before I have to hear you say that this was your fault too!" He sighed and took her by the upper arms, gently, and leaned her back against the wall. "Love, let me do this. I will do right by both of you girls in this. You don't want to see the 'Lil bit be the monster she is now, kay?"

Buffy nodded as her eyes watered again. Spike wondered how much of a water supply she had in her for crying. "Go handle Giles and get some proper food for the girl. I'll hold her off."

Buffy nodded again and pushed past him without so much as a kind word.

* * *

Willow touched Dawn's shoulder and Dawn snapped her head around. Willow held her breath before resolving her words. "Listen Dawnie, this is a serious thing, but we are here for you. We love you no matter what."

Dawn smiled, "That's nice. I love you guys too." Her smile was fake; she didn't know what to believe anymore, everything in them betrayed her words. She opened the door just as Spike came around the corner, giving him a short glance she walked down into the dark basement. When Spike went through the door he gave the witches a dirty look and closed the door.

* * *

Dawn jumped up onto the washer and kicked her feet at the side. It made a steady thump as she watched Spike stalk towards her.

"Listen pet, ignore them all."

"I was planning on it. I mean, I'm all super strong now right, and if I got angry I'd probably lop all their heads off. Then Buffy would get all slayer on my ass." She shrugged her shoulders and kept kicking the metal.

Spike smirked and leaned against the support post directly in front of her by a few feet. "I don't think any differently of you; rather I think we'll be closer friends. We got more in common." He picked at the fuzz on his shirt. Dawn watched him carefully, everything was clearer; she was noticing things that never seemed important before.

"I'm glad I can't read you. Everything is so intense, Spike. I see and hear and feel things I haven't before. But you, all I can do is smell and look at you. I can't hear you. It's comforting. Is it like this with everyone?"

"Yup, and you have to get used to it. It's what gets most vampires killed in the same week as they were made. They think they are all godly and whatnot. Stupid wankers."

Dawn stared at him, her pupils big and her mouth slightly open. She wasn't caring what he was saying. He stepped forward and grabbed her knees, stilling her movements. She gasped and growled in pain. "Ow!" She grabbed his wrists. "Stop!"

Spike's eyes were wild, he didn't mind this new Dawn but he worried for her, his worry was love and caring. He was papa bear now. "Listen Dawn! This is serious business. That slayer upstairs is giving you and ME the chance to do this right. But I don't think she'll find staking you as difficult as stalking Angelus now. And that bloody thumping is grating on my deprived of sleep nerves."

Dawn's face grim and she tried pushing him back but she couldn't.

Spike chuckled at her attempts to disengage him then grew serious as he squeezed her legs tighter. "I hate saying it, hate hurting your feelings, love, but it's the truth. Don't let her be the right one in this." He let her go and touched her face a moment before stepping back. "Now, you still hungry?"

Dawn remained silent and looked out the tiny window; a tiny bit of sun was coming through giving only a little bit of warmth to the cement room. "I know it's true. And I hate it, but at the same time I stopped caring awhile ago and now…I guess I just don't care at all."

Spike nodded. "I get that." He vamped out and bit into his wrist, deep and thorough. When he removed his mouth from the wound Dawn's head snapped up.

"Intoxicating." Spike airily whispered in the dark. His entire body language changed. He hadn't felt the sensation of a vampire feeding from him in so long, and add the feelings of affection he felt for the girl no matter the terms behind it, made it quite the experience. He watched as Dawn jumped down from the washer and walked slowly towards him, her eyes following the small line of blood running down the side of his mouth. Spike lifted his arm to her and Dawn grabbed his hand and with her other, she grasped his forearm. Spike pulled her in and Dawn leaned against his front. He ran his other hand down her hair, feeling the silk strands brush through his cold fingers. He felt as her tongue darted out and tested the wound. He bit his tongue.

Dawn sighed as it touched something inside her body, her mind. It really didn't taste like something that would be sating of hunger but it calmed that bulge of uneasy in her. She licked the blood again and when it didn't make her gag, as she thought it would, she placed her mouth fully over the wound, gripping his arm tightly.

Spike grunted and flexed the hand her fingers were intertwined in. He felt the graze of fangs on the skin above the wound and as her lapping and sucking increased he felt her fangs sink into the damaged flesh. He bit his lip, as his other hand traveled up through her hand resting on the back of her neck. She pushed her mouth harder onto his mouth, the blood flowing down her throat, she was so comforted, there was no worry, or doubt. There was just the blood. It kept its…"it could be better' taste which she thought would only be fixed with human blood but this was bliss, it was all she knew.

Spike felt the pounding in his head, his arm tingly; he felt her energy, so young and bountiful. She was life, even as a vampire, she had so much energy in her…maybe more. Memories of this very act in more intimate terms flashed through his mind of Drusilla, of Angelus, of countless others he met along the way. He imagined Dawn's feelings, her thoughts. He remembered when he first fed from Drusilla after he was turned, the sensation of the blood, the flesh, the tension in her body…as his thoughts drifted to more sexual memories, flashes of Dawn hit him behind the eyes. He was brought back to the present. His hand clasped on her neck, she clinging to him like life itself, her moans and growls. With the images of Buffy punching him in the face for his thoughts even though she would never understand the context. He hissed as the feeling of blood lose hit him, sure wouldn't kill him but it did have its effects.

He tightened his grip on her neck and whispered, "Stop, Dawn." She didn't. He repeated his demand and when she tightened her hands on his arm, he growled and pulled her away, yelping as the pain of her fangs ripping longer holes in his skin. She stumbled back and pushed his arm away, her head was down, her long brown hair covering her face, and she hugged herself.

"Any better, bit?"

"Some." She whispered.

"Did I hurt you?" He stepped forward, and went to touch her face, pull her hair back from her neck but she stepped out of his reach, she flipped her hair back with a head movement and looked at him, her face bloody, fresh and dried mixed together. Her eyes burning embers and delicate facial ridges. She was a pretty little thing if he ever did see one, all vamped out. He gave her a slight smile with the corners of her mouth. If she ever got the chance, she would wreak havoc on the human population.

"No, I'm fine I just…that was…..nice." She was embarrassed.

"One of a kind experience. It'll stick with you forever. Now quite literally if I can keep you alive forever." He smirked and relaxed, she was alright. She would adjust. He would adjust with her, and help Buffy adjust too. Screw everyone else, they can all sod off as far as he was concerned.


	3. I Mean It!

Dawn sat on her bed, looking down at her hands. They looked so fragile, and Dawn remembered how fragile Drusilla always looked. That woman could punch a hole through a human head without missing a step and possibly not breaking any nails. Could she?

*

Buffy watched her from the doorway, she understood her sister's being a bit better now, at least the physical side. She could hear things more clearly, pick up on new sounds all together, smell and feel things better. Dawn knew Buffy was staring at her but she had the tact to ignore it. She hoped this change would maybe kick Dawn prematurely out of the whiney screaming teenager phase completely but then Buffy ached thinking she may never be that way again.

*

Dawn open and closed her hands, running her fingers over her knuckles. She sighed and looked out the window at the darkness. She could have her curtains open now, she missed nature. She hated her interaction with UV rays yesterday. When she thought on it she could still feel that sting penetrate clear through her arm and touch something deeper. She shook her thoughts clean and looked at the floor between her feet where a big ceramic mug sat with no handle, it was still warm and encouraging her......pressuring her. All that blood.

"You have to drink it, sweetie. Spike said..."

"I know what he said." Dawn whispered.

"Okay." Buffy bit her bottom lip as she hugged herself. "I'll be downstairs."

"Fine." Dawn whispered again as she listened for Buffy's soft retreating steps down the stairs. When she was sure Buffy had done what she said, she picked the glass up and drank it down quickly, savouring the very last drop. She looked down into the empty mug and sighed. It was quick, like her throat opened up and there was a black void taking in all the matter of the universe, never fulfilling her hunger. She craved the taste of blood from Spike. Now that was good. She's had cuts before, she's even intentionally cut herself once or twice to see what it was that Spike liked so much. She knew it wasn't the same, but she had to try it.

(Flashback)

Dawn dragged the razor across her forearm, wincing at the quick hot pain that travelled across the length of her lower arm. She bit into her lip and looked at the door to the hallway, she couldn't hear anyone, so that was good. Everyone had a bad habit of barging in, except Tara who was nice, and Xander who feared "girl things happening", whatever that meant. She pulled the razor away after a deep inch was made. She watched the blood well up and try to cling to the razor but she removed it none the less. The blood was a thin line, but she knew if that line of blood was removed, another would appear quickly. She put the tip of her tongue to the blood and frowned. Nothing special. It was strongly flavoured but so what. She put her whole mouth on the cut and sucked the cut until she felt just the tug of skin against her teeth. Releasing her arm she sighed as she watched the wound refill itself..

"Mind telling exactly what is going on in here?" Spike was crouched in the window, one leg bent pressing into the roof shingles , and the other resting on her window ledge. He glanced from her face to her arm and then back to her eyes. Something was troubling about the gaze he gave her.

She gasped in surprise as she shoved the razor back into the little box it came in and tucking it under her leg. "That's rude you know."

" Forgive me, but the smell of a young girl's blood pulled me away from my mission. Intoxicating scent that is. Also coming from you makes me rather pissed...off." The end of this sentence was clipped as he glared sternly at her. He swung his nearest leg in and the rest of him followed fluidly. It annoyed Dawn, she always was reminded how cat like he was. Stupid vampires.

"Mission huh? Stalking Buffy, the girl who thinks you're dirt. Glad I could save yourself from making a fool of yourself again. But I'm sure you'll make up for it soon or later tonight." She stood up and marched over to her door and opened it. She scanned the hallway and no one was around. Everyone was downstairs enjoying a lazy night off, with movies and junk food.

Spike chuckled so lightly, it could have been carried away on a breeze. He stalked after her and closed the door, grabbing her elbow he pulled her back into the main floor area of her room and sighed. "Bloody good try, niblet. But as you are a teenager your words do little but amuse me, eh." He clicked his tongue on the front of his teeth as he gripped her arm tighter and yanked it forward, examining the cut. "Nice work for a girl. if you were a bad girl I'd say you could have quite the career with a blade. But none the less..."

"I'm the little sister of the big stupid slayer. Yada yada....." Dawn wanted to slap him and scream screw you at the top of her lungs. After hearing what Buffy had said about her, she didn't care about boundaries with anyone, especially the one person she cared anything for who only gave his existence to Buffy.

He growled and grabbed her chin. "You are THE SISTER of the slayer. You were made from her. Treasure that, pet. Hurting yourself is no way to honour yourself."

She tugged her arm and couldn't escape his super human grip. "I'm not HURTING myself Spike. I just wanted to taste myself. Everyone says my blood is special but it's not. Buffy believes it, I believe it, everyone should just catch on already." She yanked again when his grip loosened.

"Oh." He sighed and looked around. This wasn't what he had expected, how do you console a teenager with inferiority issues? "Well, honestly pet, coming from a handsome blood lover such as myself, some blood is special. Yours happens to open incredibly powerful portal locks, or it used to. I'd say that's special. And the fact you are part of Buffy, and the Summers line, your blood has that Summers speciality to it. Which is tasty to the extreme. But all in all, I'd say it's just you that makes the blood amazing." He tucked back a strand of hair that was batting her face with every deep breath she took as she seethed looking at his boots.

She frowned and her eyes started to well with tears.

"Dawn?" He whispered. He could smell her tears forming. Any other girl and he would have found it invigorating and amusing, with Dawn it only filled him with ache. He cursed himself in his head as he lifted her arm and put his mouth over the cut and licked the neat little cut clean. Dawn lifted her eyes to stare at his mouth, and dared to meet his eyes. Spike was entirely caught off guard by his own actions and hers. In a moment of gentleness Buffy had let him lick a cut on the back of her hand, but she hid her face and refused to meet his eyes. Yet the littlest Summers met his gaze dead on and her eyes held sadness and growing strength that would mature with her. The tears kept falling down her cheeks, falling over the refined edges of her cheek bones and down to her soft chin. She had grown up so much in the last couple of years, she would be okay no matter what happened now. He let go of her and stepped back a bit, running his hand through his hair. "Well, " he coughed and tried finding his words, " you taste just fine, love. Trust me okay."

She simply looked at him, her mouth set in a slight pout and her eyes still were damp but the tears had stopped. "I trust you." She blinked once, twice, three times.

"Yeah well, good. Always do, I won't steer you wrong. Now, don't go marking yourself just to prove a point. I won't be so nice next time." He winked and went to the window. "Oh and I never make a fool of myself Dawn, I'm to suave for such a thing. Your sister is the fool."

Dawn smiled with one side of her mouth and hugged herself. "Ain't that the truth."

He winked again and disappeared out into the night.

(End Flashback: What Buffy said will be brought up later. But it's sort of what was happening in the show, with Dawn feeling worthless next to her sister. But anything Buffy will say, is in anger, which we know stupid stuff comes out of her mouth all the time she doesn't mean.)

Her eyes focused on the stained white mug. The blood gripped the porcelain and was sticky thick on the walls, sliding down to pool at the bottom. She stuck her finger in the mug and gathered as much as she could on her finger and then sucked her flesh clean of the life giver. It tasted animal, primal, but she vaguely recalls her own being more primal, but she couldn't distinguish it at the time. Maybe that's why Spike acted so weird that night. She put the mug back on the floor and glanced at the mirror seeing nothing looking back at her. How many times she had wished to not see that reflection. She walked over the reflective surface and ran her finger tips down the smooth cold material. "Wishes do come true." She mumbled as she rested her cheek against the mirror and just slipped into her mind to process things.

Spike stood back from the door a bit, so she wouldn't immediately notice him. He felt heartache for the girl. If he had a choice in the matter, he'd want her turned a bit later in life like he was. So she'd get a chance to experience life. She didn't look like a child any longer, the last few years had been good to her figure and face, she would get by okay, and any who challenged her thinking she is a child, well....she'd show them alright. Dawn didn't follow the same set of rules as everyone in the house did. She followed a different set, the same ones Spike did. He doubted she'd have a problem with them. They were a lot more free than human laws, or the scoobies. he vowed to Buffy to keep the girl grounded, and he would. he would celebrate with her every year, her birthday. Except they wouldn't stop in a few decades, they'd just keep coming. His heart warmed at the thought. His selfishness set in. He'd had the girl for the rest of time, it fate allowed. She deserved so much more than she was getting or allowed to get in her human life.

He walked forward into the doorway of her room and knocked. "How are you feeling, love?"

"Empty." She trailed her hand down the mirror, were Spike's reflection would be before pushing herself up and facing him.

"It'll go away, when you get used to your new body."

She looked down at herself. She was wearing a tight grey t-shirt hoodie, and form fitting yoga capri pants and flip-flops. She curled her toes against the tough foam material and sighed. "Doesn't feel new to me. Just empty and cold."

"Trust me. " He motioned for her to follow. But then stopped. "Put on sneaker, meet me downstairs." He turned and walked out quickly. She frowned and was peeved off, sneakers meant something bad, she just knew it. But she followed his command without a second thought.

Dawn bounded down the stairs with cat like movements and speed. Buffy was rushing out her words at an annoyed looking Spike. "Absolutely not! Are you stupid or something?"

"You going to just keep her in this house forever? Guess what Buffy, that's not how you keep her good and in check." He gritted his teeth has he tried to keep level headed. Buffy had a way about her. She cared about Dawn and worried about her safety but she went about it all wrong. He turned his head and met Dawn's eyes then turned away from Buffy towards the door.

"Wait!"

Spike opened the door and demanded Dawn go outside. Dawn looked at Buffy worriedly but then walked out taking in the feel of breeze and nature. The door closed behind her and she heard their voices resume.

"Listen Buffy, she needs to explore herself. Otherwise you will build temtations and resentment. If you don't recall, that's how Drusilla was brought about? Angelus deprived her of everything before taking her life and then did the same fucking thing when she was raised. She didn't anything, have any blood for weeks after she was made, save the ONE initial feeding to keep her around. Trust me, baby." He bit his lip and touched her shoulders.

Buffy lowered her head and shook in grief for a moment. "This is so hard. Thank you for being here." She whispered. Great a moment of revelation and sweetness from Buffy and he happens to not be able to take advantage of it. He ran his thumb against her cheek and sighed.

"I'll do right, I promise slayer." He kissed her head before anyone could come out of the kitchen and see their interaction. He went outside to join Dawn who was leaning against the tree in the yard looking at the moon in the distance.

"You are so sick."

"The sickest." He mumbled as he lit a cigarette and started off down the street, expecting the girl to follow him. Which she did.

"I'm not joking. I don't understand what is wrong with you." He raised his eyebrow at her and scoffed.

"Oh look who grew some balls."

"The biggest." She hissed in a mocking tone.

Spike chuckled louder and gave her another look before staring forward as he walked and smoked.

"She is using you. And I just don't feel like keeping my mouth shut anymore, what's the point." She clenched her hands and gave them a look over before continuing. "When you are capable of so much, regardless of a stupid chip......why waste your time on her?"

He flicked the cigarette and grabbed her arm, he swung her around and tossed her back into a empty construction lot. Dawn was stunned as to what was happening so Spike took the chance to close the big sliding gate. He had set this up beforehand in, but he didn't think she'd be in such a combative pissy mood. Well....he figured this made things better. Dawn pulled herself up and growled. "What the fuck, Spike!?"

"I waste my time smoking, and driving around and drinking my sorrows away. I do NOT waste my time with Buffy, and now you. Never the Summers. Don't think you can get under my skin with that card. I get it okay. I know what you feel, the nothingness. That's the reason vampires are so owned by their demons. Hell that is why Angelus is who he is. Because he has NO control over his beast. I will be damned if that happens to you."

Dawn stared at him in disbelief. She had seen him mad before, never passionately angry though. "I...."

"Keep your mouth shut. Things are different now. Completely not on this world different and you are going to do everything I tell you. Of course you will slip up and make mistakes and I will fucking cover them up, because I give my life to save you. You have to not slip into that darkness you feel. it will make you feel and do things that are a touch out of this reality."

"I didn't feel this at first."

"You never do. Your body doesn't understand. The demon doesn't understand, then it catches on and pulls your humanity along for the ride."

'Angel said you are a weak vampire, because of your humanity. Or...Angelus said so...."

"That he did. Beat that idea into me once or twice." Spike shrugged his jacket off and tossed it onto the gravel into a loose heap. He took his wallet out of his pocket and tossed it on the coat. He began walking slowly around Dawn as she turned with him.

"I don't believe him at all Spike."

"I know pet." He gave her a soft smile to show he cared for her words before running at her. Dawn shrieked and tried getting out of the way but Spike grabbed her and held onto her tight. He pressed her back against his chest as he held her wrists up to her chest. She squirmed, scared trying to get away from him.

"Stop it, stop it! Buffy is making you do this!" She pushed off the ground and took to slamming the back of her feet into his shins.

Spike chuckled and threw her forward. "Hardly. Buffy doesn't want you leaving the safety of her nest. Thinks you'll go all rottin' in the world.

Dawn started walking backwards as Spike advanced on her. "So what...decide I'm too much in the way now, that I SEE everything that is happening."

"I don't care if you know or not. You are the one person I don't care that knows ANYTHING about me. You pretty much know it all anyways."

"Then what the hell, Spike!?" She growled and her face morphed.

"There's the kitten. I'm giving you a taste of your strength, that will only get better with practice and training. Now come play." He curled his fingers towards himself and laughed happily as Dawn launched towards him, eyes burning a golden fury. He batted her hands to the side and spun her again, but just pushed her away.

She turned her body quickly and lowered, going ot take out his ankles, but he just stepped out of range and laughed at her. She crouched for a second and then straightened herself to walk towards him. "I'm not having fun. I'd rather go home."

"I doubt that. I know you did it on purpose. You wanted this for yourself. Welcome to the club, love." Dawn punched him in the face only because he let her. it stung a bit, not as hard as the slayer hit but that was only because she didn't know how. Sure she was training with Buffy and Giles but they never let her really play the game, he vowed to show her the real moves. When he looked at her, Dawn was glaring at him defiantly. She was so beautiful while raging, just like sister. They were the light and dark of the same piece now. Spike found it to be a magnificent ironic art of types. She went to hit him again happy her first one landed, but Spike shoved her arm out of the way and slapped her harder than he intended. She whimpered and held her face, she slowly came up and continued to glare at him. Her lip had caught on her fang and it bled slightly, she ignored it.

"I don't regret it, but it's not what I expected."

"Nothing magically great about being dead."

"I'm learning that."

She dropped her arms and huffed as her face slid into it's human facade. She turned away from him and started walking to the gate they came through. "I don't like this game Spike."

"I want you to understand rules are different now. You are tough, look at you now. I hit you hard."

"Yeah yeah...just like I am so good I managed to punch you."

"I hit you like I hit Buffy." He said quietly, staring at her back. She stopped and turned her head slightly.

"Stop that."

"What?"

"I am exhausted of having to be Buffy's little sister. I'm 17 and know more about this world than almost everyone I know. You are the only one who tells me anything interesting, or that I find company pleasant. Just because I know your grand secret now doesn't mean you can throw her name around."

"To be the ultimate difference from the slayer, you killed yourself and turned yourself into her enemy." Spike started walking to her. he could feel her resolve crumbling.

"Exactly. You know me so well." She replied with venom. He brushed her hair back from her shoulder and spun her around again, but this time taking her into his embrace with love.

"I'm sorry niblet." He whispered as he pet her hair. "Do you regret it? Do you feel regret?"

Dawn felt her knees give way. " I feel everything, I feel it more than I did before! And no....I don't regret this. I just hate that I am still stuck in the same situation as before." She buried her face against his chest and cried her eyes empty. "I hate her so much."

"She has so many faults. but she means well, you have to see it."

"She tries...she fails."

Spike found himself second guessing his entire life around Buffy and Dawn. Dawn always had a hatred for Buffy he never seemed to be able to dampen it. Buffy always complained about Dawn and he reckless teenage behaviour. Spike didn't see Dawn as a girl so much as a young woman. They talked about some pretty serious topics and she always accepted his answers and lectures on the world. But he never understood their dynamic. He didn't have siblings, and his vampire family dynamic was nothing to model from. This was new water for him. He realized her grief and hate drove her to death and rebirth, he had to fix that hurt in her as best he could before he lost her completely and Buffy and Giles would have to fulfill their promise to end her. "Come on, I think you need to rest. I fixed up the basement so you can stay down there. Real posh if I say so myself."

"So you'll be staying over?" She sniffled and dried her face off on her sleeve.

"Sometimes. If need arises."

"That's nice." She mumbled as she started walking off. Spike hurriedly gathered his coat and wallet before following her. He batted the leather to get the loose gravel and dust off of the slick black surface. "Do I always have to stay at home? Can't I ever come stay with you?"

"Maybe, not now though. Buffy is still......adjusting as is everyone else."

'Well with you and her...wouldn't she trust you?"

"It's Buffy...." He gloomily replied.

"Right." She whispered and grabbed his arm to lean against it. She kicked little pebbles as they walked back to the house.

Nothing happened that Spike wanted, he was expecting to stay out into the earlier morning hours with her, fighting, playing, walking, hunting or the mock version of it, because killing was a big no no. Instead he batted her around a coup[le of times, she got sad and then the truth was shared. he was so upset and disappointed with Buffy right now. He just needed to get her back and then he'd go have himself a strong drink and lose himself in his thoughts ALONE.

"Back so soon?" Buffy's heavy voice came from the living room as Dawn walked down the hall towards the basement door.

"Yeah I got bored, going to be alone." Dawn mumbled as she disappeared.

Buffy stood and walked to the doorway to watch Dawn's form disappear around the corner, she went to go after her but Spike's hand on her bare shoulder stopped her.

"Leave the girl be, big sister."

Buffy turned and saw the grief in his eyes, so she simply nodded and walked back to the couch and threw herself back into it. She looked at him and beckoned him to join her. He stood in the hallway looking at her. "Spike?"

"Friends are all gone I assume, otherwise you..."

"Yeah." She bit her lip as she curled up in the corner of the couch and pulled a pillow into her lap. She felt the uncomfortable air. "Everything is so screwed up now. I just want....comfort."

"So do I." He let his eyes close and took in the scent of the house. So strong with lilac and Summers original blend. he hated the witches and all the things they burned around the house, messed with the scent of things. He always hoped one day they'd blow themselves up, then Buffy's and Dawn's scent would be the only thing invading his senses in this house of cards.

"So then.....if you join me maybe we can take care of each other's problem...."

Spike simply stood there with his eyes closed, listening and taking in the smells around him. He wanted so badly to slip away in his mind. Find comfort in the slayer's body, her warmth and power. He wanted her to hit him and tell him how disgusting he was for his thoughts and hopes for them. Then she ravage his mouth and take his body for her own pleasure. He could simply go with her motions and find his own release in her flurry of release. But that seemed dirty and wrong. She was meek and asking for his soft touch to comfort her. He saw it in her eyes; the need and her lust begging for him, but she was hurt and unsure. He was damned if he would make her feel sure. She never gave him that. Childish, but damn if he wasn't worth something to. He was in Dawn's eyes, he was going to make her his world. it was the only way.

"Spike." Buffy moved the pillow aside and went to stand.

"No....not tonight. I have to go." He turned and walked to the door, but her gasp stopped him. "Nothing personal love, but you aren't the only one with feelings." He walked out leaving her in the silent aftermath of closing the door. He hurried went to his motorcycle in the driveway and rode off to get drunk out of his mind.


	4. Can You Find Peace?

Dawn sat alone in the park, kicking her feet in the dirt as the swing she sat on gently moved back and forth with the wind. She had a cut on her knee that she watched slowly heal before her eyes. It was Buffy's fault. Dawn refused to accept any other version of the event. She wanted to go out and Buffy was screaming at the top of her lungs, because no one else was home to judge her, about Dawn's self-control and that she would mess up. And Dawn was arguing her best that she was doing really well and how would they ever know what she would and wouldn't do if she never got to go out alone. Well Dawn was proving Buffy right, right at this second. Here she was all alone, pouting and being a good vampire. She growled and gripped the chains, that held the plastic swing up, tighter.

Of course Dawn had to go and push past her limits and Buffy instinctually slapped Dawn, but the force made Dawn's demon surface and then Dawn saw red. They had an all out fight that ended with Dawn being tossed down onto the stone path in the backyard, that led around the house. Dawn slid across the rocky surface tearing her jeans and cutting her leg. It only complimented the bruise on her jaw though.

Dawn jumped off the swing and slowly made her way down the grassy hill, dragging her feet through the grass that was in need of a serious cut. As she reached level ground and was eyeing her path to the sidewalk which was still quite a ways away she heard a strange sound to her left. She turned expecting Buffy or Spike to be stomping their way towards her but she was caught off guard by a short demon that was quite chubby waddling towards her carrying a small staff. She angled her head in question at him and growled quietly trying to give him warning.

"Child, I have heard far worse than the tones you angelically voice." He chuckled and ended in a fit of coughing. Dawn winced at the wet hacking sound and tried back up, to keep going towards the road but the little demon waved his hand and the air fell thick. "Calm yourself girl. I'm not going to harm you, unless you give me reason to. I mean, even then...the chance of you doing any damage to me is very slim." He smiled showing pointy yellow and black teeth. Dawn frowned and hugged herself looking around for anyone, or anything.

"What do you want?"

"I know what you are." He straightened himself and stood his staff up straight so his little knobby hand rested lazily on top of the smoothed top. "More importantly, I know who you are...Dawn, sister of the slayer."

Dawn laughed then. it wasn't a happy sound though. Quite the opposite actually. She felt defeated. "So it comes to this then. Even if I chose the other side, I still have to die because of her. When can I ever be myself?" Dawn swung her arms around as best she could in the thick air and her face transformed as she bore her teeth at the demon.

He merely blinked at her and then spoke when Dawn didn't say anything more. "Believe me, I understand that anger you are feeling. That's why I'm here actually." He leaned the staff forward pointing at a raging Dawn.

"What!"

"You know the deal, you've been through this already. Except this is a different kind of program I have going on than Halfrek. She grants wishes to whiney sad women. And I...well let's just say I specialize in that 'it's time to end it all' kind of pain."

"I don't want to die." Dawn didn't know what else to say.

"Child, hardly. You have already handled that part yourself. What if I could offer you freedom from those pesky feelings? Do or be whatever you want without ties to the mortal plane?" He grinned but with his chubby face and teeth it was just to menacing to be friendly.

Dawn's face dropped in confusion. She figured that was what she had, she just had to wait out Buffy's death. Spike would let her do whatever she wanted if her sister was gone. Dawn's eyes widened. "I don't..."

The demon tilted his head and narrowed his eyes. "Kill the slayer? I am beyond that. She is meaningless in the grand scheme of things Miss. Summers. What I offer is all about you. I can give you a less...conflicted frame of mind."

"Buffy would kill me then." Dawn crossed her arms defensively. His offer sounded good enough. She figured as a vampire she would lose everything she was but instead she's still in the cage the slayer sits atop of. Her sister had even more reason to argue and punish her.

"You are young but you are not incapable. You merely have to prove yourself to her or hide or run." He grinned again and straightened his clothes. "Well? I have many other wishes to grant, so if you could..." he waved his hand in a hurried motion towards her.

"Feel less, huh?"

"Yes. Vampires have the emotional range of any human, but the demon...the need for blood outweighs that, so in the end most choose to stay in that frame of mind. It's far easier to not feel anything, you see. You are so smothered in humanity yet so fiery in your own beliefs well...you are broken."

"Gee thanks."

He mumbled something and then cleared his throat. "Well?"

"No thanks. I can be a badass if I want. I just don't feel like it I guess."

"What I offer you is so much more than being bad."

"I know but I'm fine with myself, things suck but they won't always."

He bowed and gave her such a disappointed look. "You are very strange Miss. Summers. I hope to see you again, perhaps things will have changed by then. If not...you need but to state your desire to me." He disappeared in the next second, the last word fading in the empty air.

Dawn smiled and sighed. "Well...okay then." She started off towards the street again after feeling slightly awkward after her strange encounter with the wish granter. She couldn't bother to put any thought into what just happened right now.

-1am-

Spike sat in his crypt watching MTV pondering over the state of modern culture when Buffy walked in, completely dazed in a state of anger. "Slayer?"

"Where is she! All I ever seem to do is come here demanding Dawn to come home."

"Jealous?" Spike cocked an eyebrow at her as he muted the television but kept an eye on it. He hated to say it but the bouncy blonde socialites on the screen were more interesting than Buffy seemed to be lately.

Buffy scoffed and threw a book nearby at him. "She ran away again!"

"What did you do?"

"Me! How dare you think I did something wrong!"

"Well..." Spike sighed. he knew his Dawn. She had patience and adaptability, and could live with Buffy peacefully if only Buffy would give Dawn some respect and room. When Buffy ruffled her feathers at Dawn, well Dawn left to vent. He wondered why Buffy always came here for her though. Yes Dawn preferred the crypt to the basement and her bedroom before becoming a vampire, but she had lots of other hang out spots. Buffy never went to those. Did she know them? They could never seem to discuss the niblet without Buffy getting mad. He knew the slayer loved her sister but the anger and regret seemed to outweigh that love quite often.

Buffy sighed and threw herself down beside him and dropped her head into her hands. "I hit her...and more."

Spike's eyes widened and turned to her, ignoring the TV now. "What the bloody hell did you do?"

"She pissed me off and then she tried getting out of the house. She bumped into me and then I slapped her...hard. Then she freaked out on me and we fought so hard, Spike. I hurt her."

"More ways than one, I'd bet love." Spike was lost as to what to do at the moment. He couldn't have felt more of a chasm between himself and Buffy.

"She drives me crazy. I can't handle this." She pulled at her hair and groaned into her palms.

"I told you I would care for her. This situation is ridicules Buffy. A slayer with a vampire as a sister."

"I'm such a hypocrite. I mean; first I date Angel, then...this thing with you and now Dawn is dead."

Spike grabbed her shoulders and turned her, making her look at him. "Don't say that. She isn't dead, she is so very alive. She has feelings and dreams and needs. You messed up but she's still here."

"I don't want to fight this." She whispered. "I feel her in the house and I get that itchy slayer feeling that I have to kill her."

Spike smiled sadly.

"I get it with you, but well...there's more. With her, it's just like a big red flashing light over her head, saying Kill Me."

Spike blinked slowly and sighed. "I'll take her. You'll do something rash and regret it forever."

"I can't. You can't. She'll think I..."

"Do you though?"

"I don't know. I care for her, I always have. She acts like my mom so much."

"She acts like you just as much."

Buffy lowered her head. "Maybe that's why she makes me so angry. Maybe I see myself in her. Everything I am and can't be."

"Do you want to be a vampire?" He quietly asked.

Buffy's eyes watered. "I want to not feel. Something is wrong with me. She highlights it every time she is around."

"She doesn't. She loves you and you don't let her show it. You don't show it to her."

"She doesn't say things...most of the time, but in her eyes she sees something is wrong."

"I will take her." He said again quietly.

"For a while? I don't want to lose her. I can't lose her."

"Buffy...she's the one that is going to lose you. She will see you die. She will see all of you die."

Buffy remained quiet at that. She couldn't fathom the logic that Spike so calmly stated to her.

"I need time to process this. Can you watch her? I don't want to hurt her again."

"Of course Buffy. She'll be happy to stay here."

Buffy stood and shakily breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay...well, I have to go find her then. Try to find her and get her ready."

"Should I help look? Or..."

"No it's fine. I'll let her come here herself so she doesn't feel like it's prisoner transport or something. Might be tonight or even tomorrow." Buffy said gently. She leaned forward and ran her hand against his angular smooth face and smiled. "You do so much for me." She leaned down and kissed his forehead before walking out of the crypt without a backwards glance to her lover.

Spike sat with goose bumps covering his body. Everything he was doing was for himself or for Dawn. Every time he was around Buffy he felt less and less like he needed her. He loved her, god did he loved her. She was angelic fire that he loved to dance with, he loved those flames licking at his depraved form of an existence.


End file.
